Oh no.

I think i sabo-ed someone. Without intention to.

Me and my big mouth.

I'd like to say no matter how i say and complain, the fact that i still complain means i still do acknowledge that someone. And when i do, that means usually the argument (or misunderstanding or wadever) will work out.

when i don't acknowledge someone, i usually will never ever talk to them again.

I really really sometimes really really wish i can go back back back and right some wrongs.

Since the wrongs will be forever scarred onto me. Wif constant reminders as i try to forget. And when i try to act something, try to be helpful, i'll end up messing it up.

Sad reality is that i'm a useless loser.

Struggle, Jon... Struggle............

On another related-not-so-closely note, a close friend of mine broke up. i'm not sure how she's dealing with it... but she's dealing with lots of stuff other than that... i really very look up to her... cos she's got lots of willpower and she works hard for what she wans, and she knows she will get it.

but she thinks alot.. she plans alot... she doesnt go wif the flow u noe? -_-

Allrite so she has her bad side too... her bf criteria... is like a textbook long. she really badmouths ppl sometimes. she really looks down on ppl sometime,s but she got liang xing one later she will regret. -_-

I've also got another close friend... i must admit i was an idiot in front of him... a real idiot... and even sometimes now.. i seem to do stupid things in front of him. i dun't know why... den he'll go all sour... and i know its my fault and i feel shitty.

the fact that he still counts me as a close friend..

however, he is a possessive boyfriend. i think he's really in control of his life and thus, this attitude unwittingly and unintentionally towards his girlfriend too.

i will point out he really treats his girlfriend very extremely well. thus he expects the same out of her. i wont go into background. i must say that no matter how close someone is to you, that someone still needs space to breathe.

Ah.. this blog shall remain as private as i can try it to be. As you can see, consequences if this leaks out may be dire. However, i do have everyone's well-being at heart...

Now back to reality. tommorow i gotta meet him, but i really fucking lazy to go. i will try to wake up at 10, though.

Maybe i shld put the bad comments first, then the good comments? cos if you read a glowing article that degenerates into a bad one, you'll naturally get angry right? But if its the other way round, the person will think the other way round rite? hmmz....

Ah, fuck it.

Confucius said :

"Without steadfastness, the gentleman would not command respect, and his learning will not be sound. Advocating trustworthiness and loyalty, he has no friend or peer who is not his equal. He would not hesitate to correct his faults."

2:42AM.