I wish, I wish.

If i wish hard enough, will i disappear from the world?

If i wish hard enough, can i feel that i'm useful?

I think something died in me a long, long time ago.

Julie Delpy : A Waltz for a Night

Let me sing you a waltz
Out of nowhere, out of my thoughts
Let me sing you a waltz
About this one night stand

You were for me that night
Everything I always dreamt of in life
But now you're gone
You are far gone
All the way to your island of rain

It was for you just a one night thing
But you were much more to me
Just so you know

I hear rumors about you
About all the bad things you do
But when we were together alone
You didn't seem like a player at all

I don't care what they say
I know what you meant for me that day
I just wanted another try
I just wanted another night
Even if it doesn't seem quite right
You meant for me much more
Than anyone I've met before

One single night with you little Jesse
Is worth a thousand with anybody

I have no bitterness, my sweet
I'll never forget this one night thing
Even tomorrow, another arms
My heart will stay yours until I die

Let me sing you a waltz
Out of nowhere, out of my blues
Let me sing you a waltz
About this lovely one night stand

Why does this particular someone condemn me to be forever pervertic? Am i really such a lecher? When somebody goes on non-stop about "stare at the computer screen" for a "naked Alia" it is funny in a dumb sort of way, and i'll laugh along even though i know its a joke directed to lower me to a hormonal nerd. But when he keeps on poking it in and bringing it up throughout the afternoon to night, i get really pissed.

You see, Perry came over to my house to play WoW. As my warlock was a maximum of level 60, he just took off all the amour, leaving just the sword and off-hand weapon. And went around killing stupid nubish lvl 26 bears and spiders. So we had a woman in a bikini running around smacking things up. And i just left her like that when i logged out.

It was really fun, in a dumb sort of way.

I suddenly realised that i'm caught in a web of dumbificationess.

I cant have a fulfilling, intelligient and humourous conversation with ANYONE. None. Everyone is laughing at dumb and dirty jokes. And they think they're smart too.

And they think i'm dumb. Am i really dumb?

The clothes i wear look low standard even to a person whom i've to admit isn't really that well off, no offense intended.

I came out wanting to help someone and ask about whether did he break up, and if they're still talking. But in the end, we didn't even ask him.

People think they're smart, making fun of people and dumb jokes and all.

I don't call people stupid or dumb and mean it, because i am soon proven wrong. Whether its the way someone talking in a weird way and making me laugh, or whether someone is very talented in backstabbing others, i still feel that that particular thing is something to be admired as a testament to how diverse and marvellous how people can take something to.

i get the feeling that everyone who calls me stupid really thinks that way.

No offense to meant to anyone. Just thoughts from a paranoid, sad social degenerate.

P.S Ju, Jas, go watch Swing Girls. I think you all will like it. Or not.