Maybe I've lost sight of what makes me me.

Maybe being forcibly mixed with people uncouth, rude and dastardly has altered my internal disposition towards life.

I have to grow this shell to protect myself. To at least survive for another year.

Maybe I've lost sight of what I really want.

Let's make this clear now. I want to experience the world. As much of it as I can, for myself.

I want to go mountain skiing at the Alps, swim in the (still blue) Mediterraneans, find the world's best oysters.

I want to find Tokyo's best underground undiscovered rock band. I want to find America's most famous band not on TV.

I want to go to Dance Valley in the Netherlands, and Creamfields in England. I really, really want (and I will do this next year) to go to Fuji Rock in Japan, Big Day Out in Australia, and Rock in Rio.

I want to run along the sheer slope of a cliff overlooking the ocean. I want to sleep in a house on stilts, in the middle of the sea.

I want to have hot sweaty sex with a Japanese babe I picked up from Shinjuku. I want to make love with the girl of my dreams in Paris, overlooking the Eiffel Tower.

I want to sit down at a cafe in Madrid and discuss nothing with my best friends.

A courtship that isn't a chore. A wedding that isn't grand and presumptuous.

I want to go shopping in Harajuku (again, in summer this time). I want to trawl Hong Kong and Taiwan and Japan and Korea and New York looking for the most awesome streetwear.

I want to pray at the Bodhi Tree in India, at the Wailing Wall (or just look at it, if it's possible) in Jerusalem, at the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican City, and visit the Kabaa (I think it's banned for non-muslims to enter though).

I want to talk to Banksy and see how he works. I want to find the Alexamenos Graffito. I want to listen to Yo Yo Ma, and touch a real Stradivarius.

I want to write a trilogy.

I will need to not lose sight of my goals. I will need lots and lots of money.

Most importantly, I need to remember myself, and not hate people.

Let it be known that I said this: Feuds and pettiness cloud the mind; time spent retaliating and scheming is better spent appreciating the world for what it has.

One more year and I'm free.